to know her is to know yourself

to: Charlie

from: Laurie

RE: "To know her is to know yourself."

SO I was doing some thinking and I realized, everything we need to know about life we learned from Jane Austen. We can look to her for almost every one of life’s problems. I should say this really came from a pep talk I was giving Judy the other night and then another one I was giving Wendy last night. The thing is at the end of the day its about relationships. The people who will be in your life when you are 90 – Jane got that.

She knew that it was about who you are as a person and the people you let into your life that reflect your character. Think about it Emma, Ann, Elizabeth, Marianne all had FLAWED relationships before their happiness (well Ann was alone the entire time but that is besides the point). Their happiness was of their own making, when they abandoned conceptions of what they knew of themselves and others. I have heard a friend complain, “when I look at myself a year ago I am disgusted, how could I have thought this or done this.”

I thought to myself don’t you think that Elizabeth wanted to chalk her episode with Wickham up to a weakness for men in uniform. Or Emma would have explained away her romance with Frank Churchill as result of too much leisure time in Box Hill. Marianne would have absolutely considered her infatuation with Mr. Willoughby a side effect of a sprained ankle. Bottom line, Austen knew that we would enter relationships that would break us – hurt us in some way, distorting our perceptions not only on ourselves but also of those around us.

Each of these heroines only achieved happiness once they acknowledged that they themselves knew nothing about those around them. It was true for Austen and its true for us - the only person you can really know is yourself. So this year I resolve to think like Jane and get to know me, and chances are the people I surround myself with will follow suite.

So really I was right that night in The Oak… to know Jane is to know yourself.